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Jogging is running for walkers.
Dangers of jogging
Looking a pillock to your trophy wife when you faint on the steps of the Elysee Palace.
Pre-exercise exercises. So they’re, like, exercises.
Post-exercise exercises. So they’re, like, exercises too.
Runner who has just stepped in dog poo.
North Korea. Not much to do with jogging.
Dictatorship still at the apprentice stage.
What joggers have to do to avoid dog poo.
Bra worn by image-conscious female jogger.
People who control the jogging business.
What female runners would like to get rid of.
Small vocalist. Not much to do with jogging.
Inadvisable consumption of vodka on the move.
Salespeople trying to get you to buy the latest trainers.
Shoe that only you wear.
Inserting a fish to reduce the impact on your ankles.
What you’ll get called if you develop a particularly silly running style to impress your trophy wife.
You don’t want people looking at you till you’re properly fit.
Jogger on the police sex-offenders register.
What all the gear will cost you.
Spouse who has got fed up with your obsession with exercise.
You can’t have one while you’re running.
Painful condition caused by jogging in a confined space.
Painful condition caused by sewing in a confined space.
First bit of the word “absolutely”. After a run you’re too knackered to manage the rest of long words like this.
What you lean against, trying to breathe while your eyes begin bulging out on stalks.
Type of pack the painkillers you’ll need come in.
Jogging companion whose job it is to restart your heart when you collapse.
Jogger from the north of Europe.
Native American. Related to Running Shoe.
You’ll need two.
Oil here in the case of chafing.
Run round these.
Ancient city of joggers, eventually overrun by Rome.
Go for the burn
Have a curry afterwards
Dietary malfunction. It’s that curry.
After months of strenuous exercise, you find you’re the fittest person in the Paris A&E.
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